none of our secrets are physical

the only stable interaction i've had with a human boy has been sans direct communication. none have ever left me bitter or sadistic. there's never a first time, nor a last for anything. but the sight of each other itself is like an earthquake. like when s showed me his chipped teeth the day he sat right across from me at carillo. or when j biked past me in the rain and acknowledged my presence with his un-open lips. each of these moments were like reading a book with no end.

sweet piss

when i woke up today it was still raining from the night before. and when i looked outside while discovering the story of tom and summer it was gloomy. but i learned, rather quickly, that to look back you've to force yourself to see it all. that way, i would realize what a big mistake i'd made by bending down to look at the pebbles in the shallow water. and i felt silly that i'd not known summer had already become autumn while i was scraping pond rocks from my boots. by 4pm, the sky had cleared for the sun to shine for an hour until it would set.

candids from lauren elaine's gathering

i took one and squashed it in my pocket. then i got another one and ate it - will develop the squirts from this processed food item.