21 January 2010

none of our secrets are physical

the only stable interaction i've had with a human boy has been sans direct communication. none have ever left me bitter or sadistic. there's never a first time, nor a last for anything. but the sight of each other itself is like an earthquake. like when s showed me his chipped teeth the day he sat right across from me at carillo. or when j biked past me in the rain and acknowledged my presence with his un-open lips. each of these moments were like reading a book with no end.

18 January 2010

sweet piss

when i woke up today it was still raining from the night before. and when i looked outside while discovering the story of tom and summer it was gloomy. but i learned, rather quickly, that to look back you've to force yourself to see it all. that way, i would realize what a big mistake i'd made by bending down to look at the pebbles in the shallow water. and i felt silly that i'd not known summer had already become autumn while i was scraping pond rocks from my boots. by 4pm, the sky had cleared for the sun to shine for an hour until it would set.

17 January 2010

candids from lauren elaine's gathering

i took one and squashed it in my pocket. then i got another one and ate it - will develop the squirts from this processed food item.